DECEMBER 20: One thing I’ve noticed about my recovery-era feelings and behaviors is that they are unquestionably genuine.
I don’t have to wonder whether they are some psychodrama I’m re-enacting, or some manipulative behavior that my devious subconscious has come up with.
They come straight from inside my own head, unfiltered, authentic. And they’re not new.
They’re me. Only moreso.
Here’s what my brain is forcing me to admit, acknowledge, or deal with:
I like to sleep in.
Clutter makes me feel insane.
Technology is fine as a production tool, but it often gets in the way of creativity.
I need to spend more time just being in one place and absorbing my own thoughts.
I shouldn’t try to do so much. It exhausts me.
I like flowers and other prettiness.
I don’t like violent movies.
It’s important to wear comfortable clothes; it makes me friendlier and nicer to other people, too.
I enjoy it when I don’t have to take care of anyone but myself.
Talking on the phone for more than 30 minutes is annoying unless it is someone I love.
I shouldn’t try to do so much.