What I learned when I almost died

Exactly one year ago today, to the hour, an axe hit me in the head. A brain aneurysm ruptured and flooded my head with blood. The extreme pain, dizziness and nausea cut a dividing line through my life – one second I was fine, the next I was on the verge of death. I can … read more What I learned when I almost died

That high-pitched noise

The noise started when the heat came on last night. A high-pitched tone that could only be from something mechanical. The kind of noise that makes me crazy. The heat didn’t come on. The registers were blowing cool air. I waited for the air to get warmer. It didn’t. I turned the thermostat’s heat switch … read more That high-pitched noise

Being an idiot

Stupid. Idiot. Dumb-a**. Fool. Nitwit. Dope. Dipsh*t. Brainless.   You use those words much? I have. They’re insults we throw around all the time: while driving or shopping, in heated Facebook discussions, yelling at the TV. Maybe we even mutter those words at ourselves when we make a big mistake. In nearly seven months since my … read more Being an idiot

The new normal

Today is the first time I’ve been moving at a normal speed for the whole day. Although I didn’t exactly jump out of bed, I woke up around 7:30 a.m. and had a normal morning routine: a shower, coffee and breakfast, my art improv exercise, reading a magazine. A month ago, I couldn’t imagine normalcy … read more The new normal

The same, but moreso

DECEMBER 20: One thing I’ve noticed about my recovery-era feelings and behaviors is that they are unquestionably genuine. I don’t have to wonder whether they are some psychodrama I’m re-enacting, or some manipulative behavior that my devious subconscious has come up with. They come straight from inside my own head, unfiltered, authentic. And they’re not … read more The same, but moreso

I almost died last night

I was standing at the stove, cooking a couple of turkey burgers for dinner, when suddenly I felt a  sharp headache, very dizzy, and my hand looked strange. Colored with bright speckles. I laid down on the floor so that I wouldn’t fall down – and that turned out to be the first of several … read more I almost died last night