{"id":5506,"date":"2015-09-15T22:31:12","date_gmt":"2015-09-16T02:31:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lisaschnellinger.com\/pennies\/?p=5506"},"modified":"2017-04-20T12:48:29","modified_gmt":"2017-04-20T16:48:29","slug":"day-71-scattered","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lisaschnellinger.com\/pennies\/?p=5506","title":{"rendered":"Day 71: Scattered"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’m not sure if I should even be writing today.<\/p>\n

All day I have been unable to focus on anything for more than a few minutes at a time. Peck, peck, neck swivel, peck, check email, peck peck, think about painting, peck peck, add up some numbers, peck peck, peck peck peck.<\/p>\n

Ever done that? If you haven’t, what’s your damn secret?<\/p>\n

This is one of the most destructive things that my brain does. It wastes time even while scurrying about in search of more time.<\/p>\n

I am again just avoiding<\/a>\u00a0what is hard.<\/p>\n

I read a piece today quoting Ice Cube<\/a> on art: “If it’s not hard it’s soft.”<\/p>\n

The author explains,<\/p>\n

\n

If you can\u2019t BLEED or KILL or SLASH YOUR GUTS with your word, then keep it to yourself.\u00a0If you can\u2019t take it to the edge, then you played it to safe. …\u00a0If it\u2019s not so hot you feel like it brands you, then it\u2019s cold and you\u2019re nothing.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Ouch. But, yes.<\/p>\n

I think about hard art\u00a0often when I view art exhibits in community galleries. Almost every piece is safe. Soft. Inoffensive. Striving to be lovely and loved.<\/p>\n

I don’t think Ice Cube would consider\u00a0any of it art. A painting of flowers or a peaceful landscape is, often, just a pretty picture.<\/p>\n

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.<\/p>\n

Again the avoidance.<\/p>\n

Do I really have the courage to be hard every day? To take it to an edge where I bleed?<\/p>\n

Not with my writing.<\/p>\n

In\u00a0my long career in journalism, writing has\u00a0not been a way to expose the most personal parts of me. Writing is\u00a0a way for me to think, and explain.<\/p>\n

What’s hard is to convey a vision so compellingly that it smacks people upside the head. That’s where I want to go with art.<\/p>\n

I tried to do that with my macro photography – shift the perspective on common objects, weeds, metal, dry ice.<\/p>\n

\"Dry<\/a>
Dry ice #9689 \/ 2011<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I did an exhibit with larger-than-life portraits on satin and tried to take people\u00a0inside Afghanistan<\/a> so that they weren’t afraid of Afghans.<\/p>\n

Sometimes people tell me my photos affected how they see the world.\u00a0I want to just die right then because I know my art\u00a0won’t be any better than that, ever.<\/p>\n

Merely\u00a0bleeding onto the page isn’t going to work. Been there, done that, a thousand writers. We’ve seen their suffering and it’s not that interesting any more.<\/p>\n

But what if I could paint my craziness of thought, put onto a screen what dances in my head … things that are so open and untethered that they scare me … It would be hard. It would be hot as molten metal on skin.<\/p>\n

And that’s probably why I feel scattered. I am getting closer to the branding iron. I see it, I walk up to it. But I can’t yet pick it up.<\/p>\n

Peck. Peck. Peck. Peck. Peck.<\/p>\n

Today’s penny is a 2015. Because this year, I’m trying.<\/p>\n

\"Day<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’m not sure if I should even be writing today. All day I have been unable to focus on anything for more than a few minutes at a time. Peck, peck, neck swivel, peck, check email, peck peck, think about painting, peck peck, add up some numbers, peck peck, peck peck peck. Ever done that? … read more Day 71: Scattered<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":5508,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[316],"tags":[67,35,261,260,160,259],"class_list":["post-5506","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-improvisation","tag-67","tag-art","tag-avoidance","tag-focus","tag-painting","tag-writing"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lisaschnellinger.com\/pennies\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5506","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lisaschnellinger.com\/pennies\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lisaschnellinger.com\/pennies\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lisaschnellinger.com\/pennies\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lisaschnellinger.com\/pennies\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5506"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.lisaschnellinger.com\/pennies\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5506\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5513,"href":"https:\/\/www.lisaschnellinger.com\/pennies\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5506\/revisions\/5513"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lisaschnellinger.com\/pennies\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/5508"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lisaschnellinger.com\/pennies\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5506"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lisaschnellinger.com\/pennies\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5506"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lisaschnellinger.com\/pennies\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5506"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}