Another low-energy day. Hours of down time. Arggggh…. why?<\/p>\n
Maybe because my sleep was broken up; maybe because it’s a Sunday; maybe because it’s the day after a good time out on the town and a 3D movie<\/a>.<\/p>\n But whatever the reason, it\u00a0made the day into a struggle. One that the aneurysm itself created.<\/p>\n This aneurysm<\/a> – the many\u00a0life-threatening hours of it – and the surgery<\/a> – risky as it was – slapped me with the hard realization of how short my remaining time may be.<\/p>\n At the same time, it slapped me down, and took away eight weeks of that short remaining time.<\/p>\n Some days, that’s the most frustrating part of this recovery: I lost eight weeks when I had planned to be studying, working on art, celebrating the holidays, and enjoying every minute of being with Tom on his vacation. I feel like\u00a0so many hours vanished on feeling lost,<\/a> crying, or just wondering what to do.<\/p>\n Other days, though, this struggle is a motivation. So little time – can’t waste it on worrying or trying to figure out insoluble problems.<\/p>\n It’s not a new struggle, really. Like so many feelings and battles, it’s a pre-existing condition exaggerated by the aneurysm.<\/p>\n I don’t want the rest of my days to be defined by the struggle. But some days, it just drags me right down into it.<\/p>\n Today’s penny is the flip side of a 2015, the year that the struggle took the shape of a brain hemorrhage.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Another low-energy day. Hours of down time. Arggggh…. why? Maybe because my sleep was broken up; maybe because it’s a Sunday; maybe because it’s the day after a good time out on the town and a 3D movie. But whatever the reason, it\u00a0made the day into a struggle. One that the aneurysm itself created. This … read more Down time<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":6471,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[318],"tags":[67,485,534,546,232,504],"class_list":["post-6459","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-refraction","tag-67","tag-aneurysm","tag-fear","tag-impatience","tag-mortality","tag-recovery"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lisaschnellinger.com\/pennies\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6459","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lisaschnellinger.com\/pennies\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lisaschnellinger.com\/pennies\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lisaschnellinger.com\/pennies\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lisaschnellinger.com\/pennies\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6459"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.lisaschnellinger.com\/pennies\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6459\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6474,"href":"https:\/\/www.lisaschnellinger.com\/pennies\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6459\/revisions\/6474"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lisaschnellinger.com\/pennies\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/6471"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lisaschnellinger.com\/pennies\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6459"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lisaschnellinger.com\/pennies\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6459"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lisaschnellinger.com\/pennies\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6459"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}