More than once, during the 18 phone calls I had today, my brain gave out. It just stopped working.<\/p>\n
I continued to take notes and make verbal responses, but my brain wasn’t making sense of the sentences that were being spoken. I had to write the words down verbatim and hope that my notes will\u00a0be readable tomorrow.<\/p>\n
On Sunday, anxiety grabbed my stomach for no apparent reason, while I was just making some food. At least when the anxiety talks (“I have too much to do!” Or “I don’t want to leave the house!”), I can reason with it, explain why everything will be OK.<\/p>\n
But this voiceless anxiety is harder to talk to. I address it with meditation, exercise, and herbal tea. I say positive things out loud, if I can summon the energy: “It’s sunny and warm!” “I went to the gym – yay me!”<\/p>\n
There is too much going on right now – the house<\/a>, my work, the cabin, next week’s\u00a0art show, the thousand conversations that are part of a normal week. I am working hard to keep it together.<\/p>\n I am concerned that I’ll have another ruptured aneurysm<\/a>. The thought is like a steel band around my forehead.<\/p>\n I try to be nice to myself. I say NO as much as I dare to.<\/p>\n I’m reading a lot about the brain. It’s a resilient organ; it adapts. People with brain trauma much worse than mine have come back fine.<\/p>\n I will be OK. I will be OK. I will.<\/p>\n It’s just hard some days.<\/p>\n Today’s penny is a 2014, because it was the year before The Great Brain Rebellion.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" More than once, during the 18 phone calls I had today, my brain gave out. It just stopped working. I continued to take notes and make verbal responses, but my brain wasn’t making sense of the sentences that were being spoken. I had to write the words down verbatim and hope that my notes will\u00a0be … read more One of those days<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":7233,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[318],"tags":[36,491,493,504],"class_list":["post-7232","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-refraction","tag-36","tag-anxiety","tag-brain","tag-recovery"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lisaschnellinger.com\/pennies\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7232","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lisaschnellinger.com\/pennies\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lisaschnellinger.com\/pennies\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lisaschnellinger.com\/pennies\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lisaschnellinger.com\/pennies\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7232"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.lisaschnellinger.com\/pennies\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7232\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7242,"href":"https:\/\/www.lisaschnellinger.com\/pennies\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7232\/revisions\/7242"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lisaschnellinger.com\/pennies\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/7233"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lisaschnellinger.com\/pennies\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7232"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lisaschnellinger.com\/pennies\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7232"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lisaschnellinger.com\/pennies\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7232"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}