The same, but moreso

DECEMBER 20: One thing I’ve noticed about my recovery-era feelings and behaviors is that they are unquestionably genuine.

I don’t have to wonder whether they are some psychodrama I’m re-enacting, or some manipulative behavior that my devious subconscious has come up with.

They come straight from inside my own head, unfiltered, authentic. And they’re not new.

They’re me. Only moreso.

Here’s what my brain is forcing me to admit, acknowledge, or deal with:

I like to sleep in.

Clutter makes me feel insane.

Technology is fine as a production tool, but it often gets in the way of creativity.

I need to spend more time just being in one place and absorbing my own thoughts.

I shouldn’t try to do so much. It exhausts me.

I like flowers and other prettiness.

I don’t like violent movies.

It’s important to wear comfortable clothes; it makes me friendlier and nicer to other people, too.

I enjoy it when I don’t have to take care of anyone but myself.

Talking on the phone for more than 30 minutes is annoying unless it is someone I love.

I shouldn’t try to do so much.



4 thoughts on “The same, but moreso”

  1. As i read this post and list, it resonated so deeply with me. This is because for so long I have been trying to do what is right for everyone else as i felt that the things I really wanted to do; like sleep late, not have to take care of anyone, spend hours or days alone meant that I was selfish, lazy and unkind. Now I realize that I have to be true to myself its the only way that I and by extension my loved ones can be happy. Thank you for sharing!

    1. This makes me happy to read! Yes, you really have to take care of yourself first: Love and have compassion for yourself. Only then can you really love and have compassion for others.

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