A new feeling

On Monday afternoon, I had the strangest sensation. I’d slept pretty well, gotten up and read with my coffee, worked on a blog post, then got down to work. I rapidly cranked out a bunch of tasks. Something felt different, but familiar. It was like, like …. I mentally squinted, trying to figure out what … read more A new feeling

How to do nothing

Meditation is hard. I’ve read books, had tapes, taken two classes on meditation. But being able to breathe deeply and not let thinking take over is difficult for me. My brain just likes to stay busy. I have practiced meditation sporadically for more than 30 years. But I never managed to make it a daily … read more How to do nothing

What I learned when I almost died

Exactly one year ago today, to the hour, an axe hit me in the head. A brain aneurysm ruptured and flooded my head with blood. The extreme pain, dizziness and nausea cut a dividing line through my life – one second I was fine, the next I was on the verge of death. I can … read more What I learned when I almost died

That high-pitched noise

The noise started when the heat came on last night. A high-pitched tone that could only be from something mechanical. The kind of noise that makes me crazy. The heat didn’t come on. The registers were blowing cool air. I waited for the air to get warmer. It didn’t. I turned the thermostat’s heat switch … read more That high-pitched noise

Regaining pain

For about a month Tom’s been having pain in his right hand. Lately it’s gotten worse and affected his ability to do physical therapy with his hand. It limits his range of motion. Even wakes him up at night. It’s a crampy pain, “like there’s too much blood in my hand,” he says. And his … read more Regaining pain

Not quite the birthday I expected

Today started out just like I expected. My birthday morning coffee was spectacularly special, because I shared it with the love of my life, Tom; my precious oldest sister, Ann; and my oldest friend, Dan; and all of us around the same table. I grinned at birthday greetings from my friends all over the world … read more Not quite the birthday I expected

Train of thought

At the beginning of recovery from brain surgery, I couldn’t pay attention long enough to read anything, play a game, or even follow the plot of a movie. I was afraid that would last forever. I have a subscription with Lumosity for brain-training games. They are designed to improve your memory, attention, flexibility, problem-solving, and speed. … read more Train of thought

A thousand fears

Saturday’s supposed to be the easy, fun day. The one where you just relax and do whatever you feel like. I spent most of the day nearly paralyzed with anxiety. Every thought leads to a fear. In the shower, I move very slowly, afraid of falling. I watch Tom warily, because I’m afraid he will up … read more A thousand fears