Magic mushroom

I’ve been struggling to even out my sleep schedule. Last night I suddenly knew what I needed: a cup of reishi mushroom tea. Reishi grows in the forest, and abundantly on dying hemlocks. I photographed the one above in the Chattahoochee National Forest. It’s a large, hard mushroom, with colored bands and a red waxy cap. … read more Magic mushroom

Whatever makes you happy

I got a free therapy session, courtesy of a fellow caregiver. He wrote, My counselor asked me last night, “what makes you unhappy?” I was struck by that. I struggled to find something that made me unhappy. I started to blame (my ill spouse) for not taking care of herself, to justify my unhappiness. But … read more Whatever makes you happy

Walking through mud

For several weeks, I’ve been having strange sensations. As though I am melting, like chocolate in the hot sun. As though I am walking through mud and can’t pick up my feet. As though I weigh 400 pounds, even as my actual weight continues to drop. When these were just occasional and physical, they didn’t … read more Walking through mud


[Dec. 28] This morning, I had an anxiety attack from reading the description of my surgery. I had downloaded my patient record from Emory. It described the surgery step by step, in clinical detail. Four pages of detail. It was the first time that I realized what the doctors meant when they said the aneurysm was in an … read more Re-traumatized