I’ve been struggling to even out my sleep schedule. Last night I suddenly knew what I needed: a cup of reishi mushroom tea. Reishi grows in the forest, and abundantly on dying hemlocks. I photographed the one above in the Chattahoochee National Forest. It’s a large, hard mushroom, with colored bands and a red waxy cap. … read more Magic mushroom
I was getting annoyed. The two cars ahead of me at the parking lot exit were taking forever. Daily parking is free so exit usually takes 10 seconds, but not these two – after handing in their ticket, they just sat there. When I got to the booth, I did the same thing. The attendant … read more How you doing?
I got a free therapy session, courtesy of a fellow caregiver. He wrote, My counselor asked me last night, “what makes you unhappy?” I was struck by that. I struggled to find something that made me unhappy. I started to blame (my ill spouse) for not taking care of herself, to justify my unhappiness. But … read more Whatever makes you happy
For several weeks, I’ve been having strange sensations. As though I am melting, like chocolate in the hot sun. As though I am walking through mud and can’t pick up my feet. As though I weigh 400 pounds, even as my actual weight continues to drop. When these were just occasional and physical, they didn’t … read more Walking through mud
There’s something about those square numbers on a digital clock … that ugly electric red … and when the numbers are 4:53 – arggggghhhh – just knowing how little sleep I’ve had makes me even more restless. And once the mind starts going, it’s all over. It’s like an ear worm from a song, except your … read more Restless
[Dec. 28] This morning, I had an anxiety attack from reading the description of my surgery. I had downloaded my patient record from Emory. It described the surgery step by step, in clinical detail. Four pages of detail. It was the first time that I realized what the doctors meant when they said the aneurysm was in an … read more Re-traumatized