Back in January, Tom’s birth mother said that she would be willing to receive a letter from Tom. “But don’t expect any response,” she told Lauren, the social worker at the agency who is our liaison. Tom struggled with how to write to her. How to thank her for enduring such a difficult experience, and not … read more A plea to Tom’s mother
Tag: Tom
Bonded
This is my son, Tom. Richard introduced Tom a half-dozen times this weekend. Each time, he said those words clearly and with warmth. It felt better each time. Tom realized that he’d never heard it spoken that way before. This is my son, Tom. The impact of these words sums up what became clear over the … read more Bonded
A common enemy
Gen. Eisenhower really needed something for his men: 3 million bottles of Coca Cola. And bottling plants to refill them. Eisenhower’s requisition was sent to the Coca Cola company on June 29, 1943. Robert C. Woodruff complied. He set up dozens of bottling plants across Europe, and U.S. servicemen were able to buy Coke for a nickel, Coke’s history … read more A common enemy
Family dinner
Richard and Tom lingered long over breakfast in the hotel dining room, talking about politics – state by state. Sara and Jane showed up because they were out shopping for dinner. We stayed so long, just enjoying each other’s company, that the manager had to ask us to leave so that the staff could clean … read more Family dinner
A birthday like no other
It’s getting so late. They were driving from Dulles and they should have been here by 7 p.m. Tom and I hardly know what to do with ourselves while we wait. This meeting has been more than five months in the making: Tom’s biological father, Richard, and sister, Danielle. Richard’s cousin Susan in England, our initial … read more A birthday like no other
Big and beautiful
The land came to us in waves of mountains, crests of forests, embracing us as we moved across it. I drove and drove and drove. More than eight hours of driving, through North Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, and finally Virginia, to the place where Tom’s birth parents met. Although we were on interstate freeways, the … read more Big and beautiful
Preparations
I’m getting ready for Tom’s birthday. There are so many errands – lots of food to buy, collect the latest firing from the kiln, get the car detailed and the oil changed. We are taking a special road trip for his birthday. One that we couldn’t have imagined a year ago. We’re going to meet … read more Preparations
Regaining pain
For about a month Tom’s been having pain in his right hand. Lately it’s gotten worse and affected his ability to do physical therapy with his hand. It limits his range of motion. Even wakes him up at night. It’s a crampy pain, “like there’s too much blood in my hand,” he says. And his … read more Regaining pain
Braced to walk
Braces – ugh. The word evokes jagged bits of metal and leather straps. Polio victims and adolescent teeth. And orthotics – ugly shoes with two-inch soles. Tom went to get fitted for a brace today. His ankle and tibia muscles are weak from the stroke, which makes it hard for him to walk correctly, so his physical therapists … read more Braced to walk
Whatever makes you happy
I got a free therapy session, courtesy of a fellow caregiver. He wrote, My counselor asked me last night, “what makes you unhappy?” I was struck by that. I struggled to find something that made me unhappy. I started to blame (my ill spouse) for not taking care of herself, to justify my unhappiness. But … read more Whatever makes you happy